I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize