"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize