Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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