In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
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I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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