Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize