Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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