Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize