I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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