I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize