Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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