I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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