I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
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every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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