A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
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He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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