walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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