Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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