my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Im part way to drunk.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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