Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Quick, to the slutcave!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize