Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
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no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
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I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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