I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize