Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize