Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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