Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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