do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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