His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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