I accidentally burped into my bong.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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