Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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