I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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