I wish they made helmets for livers.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize