Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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