Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I wish they made helmets for livers.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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