I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
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The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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