Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize