I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
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I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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