Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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