First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
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The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
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Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize