You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
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I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
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Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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