please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize