I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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