sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
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