the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize