I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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