i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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