I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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