I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize