U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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