I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize