I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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