Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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