Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
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As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
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jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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