Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
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